lyingtogetby

It's 2.30am and i'm still up even though i'm not doing anything and i'm sat here bored.

People confused me,it's annoying.

I dont even know why i'm writing in this except im bored haha

Hmm well yehh.

wasnt that pointless.

Well...
I previously mentioned that i kind of liked someone and well i told him.
Thing is i only told him because he mentioned that he told one of these girls that he likes them and that she likes him back.I was kind of shocked to be honest,he always hinted that he likes me so i was kind of like 'SHIT...he doesnt like me after all,he's just been leading me on!'.
So yeh i told him i liked him, again the thing is he likes me back aswell and said he now doesnt know what to do.
Later on though he said he liked that girl alot and that me and him could still be friends etc and that i need to find someone else kind of thing.
However since then he's carried on being flirty and dropping hints to which ive been like 'err you dont give up do you'...he reckons he doesnt give up easily and asking if i want him to etc.
I'm confused.He keeps changing his mind, one minutes it's we can only be friends cause i like that other girl then its the whole i like you im not giving up thing.Messing with my head much?

I feel like a right bitch though saying anything when him and that girl both like each other...but yeh.

Hmmm,hes proberly just trying his luck and if it doesnt work with one of us he still has the other but err i dont know LOL

Anyway i've started my job, been there a week now and it's going well. Really tiring though.I guess i just have to get used to getting up early and being busy again.We shall see lol

Well it's the new year...so happy new year everyone :)

There's nothing more depressing than being alone on new years,i really wished i'd gone out and went to see faye but i couldnt so yehh.I wasnt alone as such cause my family were there etc but yeh i feel lonely i guess.

Well 2006 went so damn fast and even though it wasnt the best year,i'll miss it strangely enough.
Both good and bad stuff happened and i met new people which i'm glad for.
Not so good stuff happened but i felt i've learn from it even though stuff didnt work out etc and i guess in a way im glad it did happen because i feel i've grown up more this year and changed quite abit.

I also feel i've learnt to appreciate my friends more and learnt who my proper friends are. One person i thought i was quite good friends with at one time didnt help in a way which i thought she would when i was upset over stuff and hasnt bothered with me since college,it's a shame but yeh i guess we werent the friends i thought we were.

January - June was the best part of my year i think,i was constantly busy doing things and happy etc
July - December was pretty grim tbh but i guess there are some happy times though hiding somewhere lol

I really hope 2007 is a better year,actually i think it will be a better year,feels like it could be :D


I hope 2006 was a good year for everyone and 2007 is great for everyone :D

Nothing new to put here really.

Should be booking my pratical driving test soon,maybe for the beginning of February so at least i have the whole of January to prepare and practice for it.

I kind of like someone at the moment but no point going there because it just wont happen,typical lol

I start my job next week which i'm looking forward to,no more being bored,poor and jobless! woo!

I passed my theory test yesterday :D
I got 35 out of 35 for the multiple choice questions,they were dead easy! and i got 63 out of 75 for the hazard perception part which i really please about :D thought i would of failed that part!
so yehh after xmas me and my instructor are going to sort out booking a practical.scarry!

GIRLS: would you like a guy who...


Rides a skateboard: Not particularly bothered but sure why not

Dresses like a surfer bum: Nope

Dresses in all black: can be hot,aslong as its not all gothic etc

Plays a musical instrument: Yes

Singing songs: screams :)

Is shorter than you: No,plus that would be impossible haha

Is taller than you: yep please

Has chapped lips: No thanks

Has green eyes: cute

Has blue eyes: YES <33

Has brown eyes: hmmm nah

Drinks alcohol: aslong as they aren't an alcoholic

Smokes cigarettes: NO,smoking is nasty!

Smokes pot: See above

Has brown hair: can be hot

Has Black hair: HOT

Shaggy hair: nahh

Shaved head: no :S

Wears tight pants: yess :D

Dresses like prep: urgh no!

Has an accent: yehh accents are nice :)

Works out: well as long as they arent too muscley

Smiles a lot: yrr

Calls you just to say hi: yes,sounds sweet

Is a deep thinker: yrr,i like people like that

Lets you know whats on his mind: yess,i hate when your not told anything

Has facial hair: nahh

Wears eyeliner: can look hot

Eye brow piercing: nahh dont like them much

Lip piercing: yess please :D

Has Tattoos: aslong as they are nice,hottt!

Ok...so i definitely have that job i last mentioned.
I start on 2nd January :D I'm looking forward to it,since leaving college i havent had a job obviously so i've been at home bumming around looking for one and going insane with boredom LOL so it's going to be good to be doing something and kept busy whilst also earning money (Y)
Also it seems like a job im really going to enjoy (I'm going to be looking after a baby in the family's home so it's basically a nannying job),i've had college placements in a home setting with a young baby before which i really enjoyed so this is the kind of job i wanted and have now finally got :]
I spoke to the mum yesterday to sort stuff out like hours and getting paid,although i still need to find out exactly how much i'm getting paid,i should have asked really but i forgot :S lol but anyway i'm already planning on how i'm going to spend my money hehe

eeek not long till xmas,still got to buy presents though so going to go with my sister(who will no doubt end up annoying the hell out of me) to Harrow this weekend to get something for my mum.She's really hard to buy for though,so annoying arghh!

Putting up my xmas decorations tomorrow,yehh abit late i know but usually my and my mum do it together and i wasnt at home all weekend so... but anyway wooo,i love when it's all christmassy with the decorations,reminds me of xmas when i was little :)

ooo yeh theory test is getting closer,still nervous but lets see how it goes,hopefully i can update saying i passed *fingers crossed*

I think thats all for now.

001. How often do you brush your teeth a day?:
Twice.When i get up and before i go to bed.

002. How do you wear your hair most days?:
Down.back-combed.

003. How do you tie your shoes?:
With my hands.

004. How is the weather right now?:
Dark and cold.but no snow :(

005. How far do you live from your school?:
I'm not at school anymore but about 5 minutes drive.

006. How often do you shower?:
EVERYDAY.i have been known to take 3 a day!lol

007. How do you pronounce your name?:
H-O-L-L-Y. Well done!

008. How often do you make a new friend?:
*shrugs*

009. How often do you listen to music?:
Everyday.

010. How often do you do your homework?:
Never.No school :]

011. How do you start your day?:
By waking up and going back to sleep :]

012. How old are you?:
19.


013. How many languages can you speak?:
1. I can remember some french from school but that hardly counts lol

014. How many books have you read this year?:
Dont know.More than 10 proberly.

015. How did you meet your best friend?:
Nursery.Though our parents new each other kinda before anyway.ormaybe we meet at the hospital hehe

016. How was your day today?:
Good.so tired though,

017. How often do you take surveys?:
When i need something to cure my boredom.

018. How long has it been since your last vacation?:
Agesssssss.

019. What was the last movie you watched?:
The lake house.It was good but not a film i could watch over.

020. What was the last movie you saw in theaters?:
POTC 2.Was awhile ago.Eragon is going to be the next one,love films like that and loved the book!

021. What is your favorite number?:
18?8? dont really have one

022. What phrase do you overuse on IM?:
HAHA,LOL or pshhht!

023. What time is it?:
06.35

024. What website were you on before you took this survey?:
BMTH forum

025. What date means the most to you right now?:
Nothing really.

026. What do you do when you`re bored?:
Come on the net :D

027. What other states and/or countries have you been too?:
France. Thats all haha want to go to New Zealand though <3

028. What is the color of your hair?:
Reddy purple with black underneath

029. What is the color of the walls in the room you`re in?:
White

030. What model is your cellphone?:
Samsung

031. What are the last three digits of your phone number?:
122

032. What kind of computer do you have?:
Laptop.Emachines= worst company.do.not.buy.from.them.

033. What are the names of your pets?:
Dog 1.dog 2.dog 3...and so on haha jks

034. What color is the shirt you`re wearing?:
RED <3

035. What is the year you were born?:
1987

036. What is your AIM screenname?:
Holz8721.....never use aim though.

037. What is the last thing you said to somebody through IM?:
such
a
great
speller
AWWWW.

Being sarcastic (Y)

038. What are the names of some of the poems/songs you`ve written?:
I dont write songs/poems EVER.
Some poems i've read just make me cringe :S

039. What kind of shoes do you normally wear?:
Vans or some kinda slip on shoes.Never really wear converse anymore.

040. What are you wearing right now?:
Black skinny jeans.Red top.Black zip top.Scarf.Skull and crossbones necklace.

041. What season is it right now?:
Winter.

042. What did you dream about last night?:
I dontthink i dreamt of anything actually.

043. What annoys you?:
Liars.Arrogance.Ignorance.People who mess others around and constantly change their minds.

044. What are you listening too right now?:
Nothing right now but was just listening to bmth,Enter Shikari,:( (colonopenbracket),Abigail Williams.

045. What is stressing you right now?:
Nothing,feeling pretty calm but i guess i should go do some theory revision.

046. What is your favorite type of candy?:
I love most candy so yeh all :D

047. What are the colors of your braces?:
No braces here :)

048. What is the name of the town you live in?:
Northwood.AKA shithole or Chavtown

049. Where did you get your first kiss?:
On a nice sunny day :)

050. Where was the last place you were besides home?:
Katy's house.

051. Where do you go clothes shopping?:
Anywhere i like stuff tbh or online


052. Where did you meet your boy/girlfriend?:
Don't have a bf.

053. Where were you born?
Hillingdon.

054. Where do you like to hangout?:
Friends houses,central London.

055. Where do you want to move to when you`re older?:
New Zealand or central London

056. Where is your computer?:
Living room.

057. Where do you keep all the things that mean alot to you?:
Material things? my room.Memories? My head (Y)
058. Where do you go to school?:
NO SCHOOL :D thank god!

059. Where did you go out to eat last?:
I got something to eat in greggs yesterday whilst in harrow but i dont know if that counts tbh.

060. Where in your room is your bed located?:
In the middle on a small Box room.

061. Where does your best friend live?:
Ruislip

062. Where is your 'second home'?:
....

063. Where do you go to write poems/song lyrics?:
I.dont.write.poems.or.songs.ever.

064. Where was your last car/bus ride to?:
Coming home from Katy's house.

065. Where is your third period class?:
school=i do not go.

066. When does the school year end?:
When someone finds a pot of gold accopanied by lepracorn at the end of a rainbow of course!

067. When is the next holiday?:
depends if you mean like a seasonal holiday or just a normal one

068. When is your birthday?:
18th August.

069. When do you take a shower?:
During the day.

070. When did you meet your best friend?:
When i was about 3/4 or something.

071. When did you make your screenname?:
*shrugs*

072. When did you make your email?:
When i got the nets about 4 years ago.

073. When was the last time you hungout?:
Today.

074. When was the last time you gave someone advice?:
Yesterday.

075. When is your bedtime?:
Whenever i like.

076. When did you last eat?:
Dinner.

077. When was the last time you broke the law?:
Never,too good i am :D

078. When was the last time you said 'I love you' and meant it?:
I've never told anyone i love them.

079. When was the last time you saw your best friend?:
Today.

080. When was the last time you were mean to someone?:
I dont know,whenever someone is annoying me.
These days i cba argueing with people,there is one certain person i want to say something to but theres no point,they'll only totally disrehard what i'm saying anyway.

081. When was the last time you saw a real rainbow?:
Couple weeks back i think.

082. When was the last time it rained?:
Today.

083. Who is your best friend?:
Katy.Faye.

084. Who gives you the best advice?:
Hmmmm Faye proberly.

085. Who is the funniest person you know?:
All my friends are funniest in different ways so....

086. Who the the best-dressed person you know?:
Me HAHA

087. Who was the last person to compliment you?:
Katy

088. Who do you have the most inside jokes with?:
Katy HAHA TRAINSSSSSSS

089. Who can always make you smile?:
Katy.Faye.

090. Who is the most annoying person you know?:
I'm naming no names but they proberly know who they are.


091. Who gets on your nerves sometimes but is otherwise a good friend?:
No one tbh.I think everyone has times when one friend or another is annoying them.

092. Who is your favorite actor/actress?:
Hmm i dont really have favourites,just ones i prefer more than others.

093. Who sings your favorite song?:
No favourite song,i think its impossible to have a favourite,theres so many amazing songs.

094. Who are your idols?:
Dont have idols really.Just certain people i have respecy for.

095. Who is always there for you no matter what?:
My closet friends.

096. Who do you sit by in ninth period?:
An oompa loompa.


097. Who are you?(your name):
An alien from jupiter.

Why is everyone so god damn boring?

It feels like half the time people only speak to me when they dont have anything better to do/anyone better to talk to,i dont know why i bother with some people yet i speak to like 4546 people like it,arggh.

Theres only two people i can actually count on and they're Katy and Faye everyone else only bothers when it suits them,meh whatever.


Anyway not long till xmas,wheeeeeeeeee :D
This year has gone so quick,its weird.
Cant beleive its going to be 2007 in less than a month!

So much has happened this year but then at the same time everythings still same,maybe everything thats happened this year has changed me in a way,im not sure,really hope 2007 is a better year!

Well i should have that job for the start of next year so i guess thats something good to start the year with :)

I'm bored thats why im making this pointless entry.

ooo yeh billy talent/enter shikari in feb at brixton,well want to go!!

Update on that job interview i went for.
The lady rung me last night and i'm going on friday to spend the day with her and the children,just to get to know them and she said she'd then be happy to offer me a job :D wheee money.

Also send away to book my theory test.
I've been practicing the hazard perception on dvd,its so annoying though,thats the only part i'm worrying about,i havent practiced much on it so im proberly going to fail that which'll mean i'll fail the whole thing :S grrr,the question part is easy but the HP i just HATE!

Only like just over 3 weeks till xmas or something :D

I wish people would stop reminding me how shit my life is,i already know so stfu your making me feel worse about myself!

Well i didnt get the job that i had a trial day with cause im pretty much too shit!

I had a job interview wednesday for a nannying job,i'm going to find out next week,proberly half way through, if i got it or not. I really hope i do get it which most likely means i wont. It exactly what i've been looking for and its not too far so its perfect.

I wont get it though i just know.My luck just isnt that good!

Two other people are going to meet the family aswell so i only have a 1/3 chance....

It's ridiculous though,so far ive had no luck getting a job even though im qualified and got the highest grade possible!! Yeh i do get that you dont always get jobs through your first few interviews but loads of other people have and it just makes me think i must be THAT shit that i cant even get a job for something ive been studying at college for 3 years :S

I'm really hoping ive got it,i know its only a job but its something good going on in my life.everything else is err shit!



+ wtf is up with people who think getting a bf is easy...meeting someone is bloody hard...maybe theres just something wrong with me then.,i repel them i guess.HMMMMM.

++ why do people canstantly go on about how everyone has a 'dry patch'....yeh mines been going on forever then!


Hmmm yeh rant over :)
Just needed to get that out haha

but then its my journal,i can moan all i want!

I havent updated in awhile so i guess nows a good enough time.

Since i last updated i've had two job interviews.
The first one was ok and i had to go all the way to acton for it even though the actual job was for in ealing,they got back to me just after a week after and i didnt get it but i wasnt really surprised,they proberly chose someone who had previous job experience im guessing.
The second interview was better,had to go to rickmonthsworth,was bloody late because the trains are so unreliable going there but apart from that everything else went well and the people there seemed nice enough.I got asked back for a trial day and that went ok too,a girl from my college course works there but she never said anything to me which i was surprised about :/
They should let me know tomorrow if i got a job or not,i have a feeling i wont get it but that doesnt mean anything cause im always so negative about everything.

If i do get a job then thats a least something good going on in my life,everything else is just not good right now. I feel so trapped in my life now,same old things ,never meeting new people or making new friends (which im really shit at). I need something in my life to change,im fed up of it being the same and boring.

I also got back in contact with that guy,whether that was a stupid thing to do or not i dont know but yeh we've only spoken a little but it seems ok,im just hoping it doesnt bring back old feelings and i start liking him again,that would be a nightmare.

I wish i could find someone,everyone these days seems to have someone and i just never do,its kind of depressing,single forever at this rate... lol

I dont think theres anything else to say.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish i was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in 3 words
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think i'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. Do you wish to get to know me more?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

I'm in one of those moods where i keep thinking about the past and frankly pissing me off!
Thinking Back about 6 months ago i was actaully pretty content with my life,not extremely happy or anything but not hating my life either.i was just getting on with things.
Thing's were going well with college,was concentrating on my exam,didnt care anymore about boys or getting a bf,becoming friends with more people on my course and becoming more confident,independent and happy!
I wish i could turn back the clock back in time to those days,sometimes i actually miss college and everyone there even though at times the people there pissed me off,i wish i could go back and change things that happened and made different decisions in some areas,i just hate how life changes so quickly sometimes and you have to get used to it,im no good at change when it comes to the big things.
I hope things start looking up,i want a job soon,to be able to drive,make more friends and maybe find someone who wants me and only me,maybe i need to break a chicken bone and make a wish...LOL

I swear my moods change like the wind.

I have 2 job interviews now. Both for nurseries,this friday and then the other on monday.
I'm nervous,mainly cause ive never had an interview before and dont want to messed up,how do you prepare for interviews anyway?
The only thing i can think of is just to think of questions they may ask and prepare what i would say etc,man i'm going to screw up :(

Last night was amazing!
Me,Katy and Andrew got there later than we wanted but we still managed to get to the front.
The support bands were ok. Missed most of the first support band but from what i heard they were ok,have no idea what they were called though. The second support band were a band called The Sounds (shit name!),they were ok i guess but the singer was pretty annoying and big headed,i dont think people liked them,everyone seemed pretty happy when they finished haha
Panic came on after what seemed like forever,sound checking takes so damn long!
So panic finally came on,everyone went crazy,the usual,they played all the songs off the album plus a radiohead and a smashing pumpkins song, the stage was set out all burlesque like they normally do and they had burlesque dancers etc dancing.
Ryan seemed to have a 3rd class victorian look going on kinda haha well it seemed like it to me and brandon had the tighest jeans ive ever seen anyone wear on :D
It was great though,this person in front seemed to get annoyed with me, lets call them a he/she lol couldnt work out what he/she was but anyway s/heseemed to get abit annoyed cause i was getting pushed into him/her and pushing people/jumping/dancing like you do.
We had these annoying little 12 year olds behind us who thought they could push katy out of the way but i pushed katy back to where i was which seemed to piss them off,job done haha
Nearly choked on water being squirted into my mouth a couple of times though,not good lol was so tired at the end and so thirsty,never been so glad to drink some coke in my life lol
I hate when gigs end.they always seem to go so quick but i was so tired i juat wanted to get back to katys house and sleep!
I want to go to more gigs like soon,dont want to leave it another 5 months before i go to another one!

I want to go see:
Enter Shikari - 4th November @ Astoria
My Chemical Romance - 29th MArch @ Wembley Arena
Bullet For My Valentine - 28th November @ Hammersmith
Most of the others are sold out :(

Trying to get a job is really annoying.

They either dont get back to you or the postion has already been filled.

Argh im going to be jobless forever!

Why is trying to find someone so damn hard,i swear i might as well be invisible,wouldnt make any bloody difference!

And having people around you who all have bf's doesnt help :[

*Goes insane*

Hmmm...

well i was right,the hairdressers messed my hair.
She dyed it too dark and now it looks purple black rather than it looking reddy purple psht and its too short but then at least it can grow back.
The good thing is is that is look better once ive backcombed it.
I basically wanted it to look like this(style not colour):
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/nobrain/Picture69.jpg
looks nothing like it however.


Before:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/nobrain/Picture696.jpg

After:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/nobrain/Picture7599.jpg
you cant really see the colour here but yeh its pretty dark.

I prefer my old hair,i wants it back lol

Err on other news i got my results from my exam,i got a C which is better than i thought cause i thought it was proper hard.I got A's for my others stuff so they have to combine all the grades to give you an overall one which i dont know what that is yet.

Driving is going good too,who knew i could find parellel parking and doing turns in the road likable haha